Also, about the translation itself...I'm not sure I'd say that the story ITSELF was heavily edited. I mean, there was definitely some stuff cut out, and there WAS some stuff that was rewritten (
) but really the most significant problem is the way the dialogue was written.
Like, as a guy who's taken Japanese and has been interested in localization stuff for a while now, I can tell that there was almost NO effort whatsoever in preserving the personalities of the characters. Like, there are the occasional good lines, such as most of Doros's dialogue, but for the most part, the game's dialogue was translated so literally, and in such a ridiculously drab manner that it honestly hurts for me to read a lot of the dialogue.
For example, you all remember Pison? That mercenary bounty hunter guy with a cape and a giant whip? Guy who came back from the dead like twice? Well, here's his dialogue in the Japanese version...
アンタが<B>主人公<B>だな?
まってたぜ
―――オレかい?
オレの名は <B>パイソン<B>さ
アンタの お仲間に たのまれてね
いのちを いただきに来た
―――だれに たのまれたかって?
…いらい人の名前は
いえねえよ
しんように かかわるからな
とにかく アンタには ここで
死んでいただくよ
And here's the rough draft of how I'm thinking of rendering his dialogue based on that...
Yo, <b>Main</b> right?
Disciple a' <b>Melchizedek</b> yeah? (Melchizedek being a possible name for "King Lemele" in the translation for reasons I can explain).
Pfeh! You have ANY idea how
long I been waitin' for ya?
Yeah, name's <b>Python</b>, an' it
seems one a' the <b>OTHER
guys're</b> payin' me a PILE a
gold ta bring em yer head!
Neat eh? An' I'd tell ya who,
but well...I'm a professional.
Confidentiality clauses n' all
that, you understand.
So yeah, yer gonna die now,
aight sunshine? Don't think
TOO badly a' me now!So yeah. Not a totally literal translation, since I'm seeking to actually
localize the game's script properly...but it seems to me like it captures all of the most important points very well. Python (Pison being an overly literal translation) speaks in a very casual way that you wouldn't normally take with strangers (in Japan anyway), and there are shades of arrogance and roughness in a lot of his word choices. Like, he uses "ore", which
technically means "Me"...except, "ore" also has a very rough or arrogant sound, meaning that you'd never want to use it in a polite conversation. Not with strangers anyway.
Now that's my version there...now let's see how the OFFICIAL localization handled that, shall we?
Are you <B>MAIN<B>? I've
been waiting for you.
I'm <B>Pison<B>. One of your
fellow travelers hired
me to get rid of you.
Are you asking me
who it was?
I can't tell you.
You must die here!...Aaaaand...yeah...
In addition to inexplicably removing lines despite having had plenty of extra space to work with (I compared both version, and for some reason, the English version generated only 9 lines while the Japanese version generated 12...which hopefully I can expand), they translated Python so literally that he lost almost all of his personality in the process. And THAT'S what I'm seeking to fix more than anything else there.
It might take me some time since my Japanese still hasn't gotten to the point where I can do this quickly, but I know plenty of people who can help me out, including a native Japanese speaker. So thank you so much, and God bless you all!